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Joseph Robert Funny Status Messages
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Since this is an "S" storm, I think they should have named it Hurricane Snookie since it will be slamming and blowing the entire Jersey Shore
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10-29-2012 18:14 by
Joseph Robert
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I'm a firm believer that if something takes 10 minutes to cook on 200 degrees then it should only take 5 minutes to cook on 400 degrees
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09-07-2011 12:17 by
Joseph Robert
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I think there are more pictures of cats in my news feed than people
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07-02-2012 13:27 by
Joseph Robert
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The rhinoceros is just a fat, lazy unicorn
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11-30-2012 18:25 by
Joseph Robert
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Coming home from work today, I just saw a guy sitting in a rowbaot in his front yard in the rain with a case of budligtht. Even though I've never met him, I'm convinced that he's good people
108
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07-26-2011 14:27 by
Joseph Robert
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People with full heads of hair that complain about grey hairs make me sick. It's like complaining that your Lamborghini gets terrible gas mileage.
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08-04-2012 12:17 by
Joseph Robert
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If anyone ever tells me I put too much parmesan cheese on my pasta, I stop talking to them, b/c I don't need that kind of negativity in my life
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04-23-2013 16:17 by
Joseph Robert
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If today drags anymore, it's going to come out of the closet in a sexy little dress
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07-30-2013 11:08 by
joseph robert
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Everyone has awesome boobs in their bitstrip
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10-25-2013 07:37 by
Joseph Robert
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On a scale of 1-10 I give this day a middle finger
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09-23-2011 12:53 by
Joseph Robert
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You can't ruin a friendship with sex. That's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles
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09-23-2011 08:02 by
Joseph Robert
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Does anyone else remember the day when you found out your parents had other names besides mom and dad? How crazy was that?!
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06-24-2012 15:15 by
Joseph Robert
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The only candy I'm interested in tonight swings from a pole and has daddy issues
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10-28-2011 13:38 by
Joseph Robert
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Women need to learn how to use Snapchat. It's only for sexting, I don't want to see pictures of your feet or your new perm
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05-15-2014 13:36 by
Joseph Robert
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This cup is so good, I now know why coffee got it's own table in the living room
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03-12-2013 11:12 by
Joseph Robert
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Now he really IS the artist formally known as Prince
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04-21-2016 17:54 by
Joseph Robert
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Sometimes I just want to slap the stupid out of people, but I'm worried it'd take up my entire day
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07-23-2012 11:49 by
Joseph Robert
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Im surprised kids haven't found a way to trick or treat online yet
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10-31-2013 15:07 by
Joseph Robert
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I can't wait until all these 100 days of happiness people get to day 69. Maybe then my news feed will finally be interesting
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05-27-2014 10:30 by
Joseph Robert
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when I'm feeling athletic, I go to a sports bar
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06-17-2012 13:41 by
Joseph Robert
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